All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
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