Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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