mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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