I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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