well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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