i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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