TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
