I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Congratulations! We have a period
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