so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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