physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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