I skipped work to stalk him.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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