I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize