Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
