Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
