I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
