It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
