If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
He did a backflip because drugs
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