After last night, I could never be a politician.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
