I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
