i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
