so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
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