So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
