i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Randomize