Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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