I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
thus making me awesome and them whores
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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