woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
