literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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