This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
i dont even know how to be here
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
The air was thick with penises
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Randomize
