I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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