she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
