why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
