He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
