And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
