this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Randomize