My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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