This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Randomize
