Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize