I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
