Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
