i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
