Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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