Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Semen is not good for contacts.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
