Got a toothbrush?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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