He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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