I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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