i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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