You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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