i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
not ubering you a puppy
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize