Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
