if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
