Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Found the puke drawer
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
