At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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