I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
