You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
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