still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
