Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
