i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
