he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
being pregnant is like rehab
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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