It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
