sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
