Just mADE A PArabola og urine
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
fuck your aforementioned shoe
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
