so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I have post one night stand depression
I love you.
Bad choice
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