I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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