Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Randomize
