East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Randomize
