i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
