We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
